I watched Dancing with Wolves for the first time yesterday. I have tried to watch it on several occasions but I would fall asleep, something; I do a lot with films.
At other times, I would start watching it in the middle and would have no idea what was happening, or I would be put off by how long the film was. (It is a good three and half hours long)
But yesterday was different I started watching it from the beginning, I was wide awake and I had all the time in the world to watch it. Nothing happens before its time!
What a wonderful film. I can now see what all the fuss was about and the reason way it was the inspiration for fashion trends for the following year it came out. (Yes I did have fringing and boned jewellery what do you expect I was an impressionable Textile/ Fashion student at the time.)
Lieutenant John Dunbar played by Kevin Costner finds himself very much alone at the army fort with plenty of supplies but no human company.
He writes his diary everyday to share his experiences with others and lives in hope that the rest of the company will arrive soon. But they never seem to arrive.
Instead a wolf arrives and over time he learns to trust the strange human. The wolf seems to be alone or estranged from his pack, so they become company to each other. The Lieutenant rewards the wolf with food and the wolf acts as an early warning system, alerting the Lieutenant to danger, time and time again.
Next a Native American Sioux Indian arrives to steal a horse. He is scared half to death by the Lieutenant surprising him stark naked and shouting. (I wouldn’t have run but it’s only a film)
Over a period of time different members of the tribe arrive at the fort to take horses. The Lieutenant decides that enough is enough and refuses to live in fear any longer and goes over to the Native American camp to talk. He puts on his dress uniform and rides off with the American Flag ready to confront and conquer.
On his way he fines a White woman dressed as a Sioux and talking in the Sioux language, trying to commit suicide. She passes out and he takes her back to her own camp to be helped. The tribe are freaked out by his presence, unsure of why a white man in a soldiers’ uniform is in their camp. Freaked out himself and unable to communicate, their first meeting is a awkward one. But both sides begin to realise that they come in peace and began learning to communicate.
And a beautiful story continues to unfold. (If you have not watched it, make sure you have a box of tissues at the ready!)
I realised that like Lieutenant John Dunbar, we all go through a period of enforced solitude brought on by a change in circumstance and situation. None of us plan it!
But it is our mindset and thinking that gets us through it, while we are in the waiting room of Life!
It is in his enforce solitude that the Lieutenant begins to see another side of himself that he never knew existed. He finds strength in adverse situations and learns to work with and overcome his weaknesses and fears. He finds out who he really is and not the person he was believed he was. He makes peace with who he is. In an environment total different from the one he came from and realises that he actually fits there, in a way he never fitted in his old world.
Here are 8 simple things you can take from the story to improve your mindset and thinking in your waiting room.
· Solitude: Everything happens for a reason. We all need a time of Solitude to learn who we are and appreciate others.
You may be alone but you don’t have to be lonely. Loneliness really is a choice.
Learn to be your own best friend. Use the time to understand what is important to you and what you need from your relationships for you to be able to be you. Make yourself happy with the simple pleasures in life. Don’t deny yourself or wait for others to give to you.
Be a good friend and give to yourself!
· Journaling : Use quiet times to write down your thoughts and feeling.
Write down what you want, need, looking forward too. If you are a visual person produce a vision board.
It will help you to understand you and it will be a record of change. Read it again in six months and you will be encouraged as to how much you have changed. How many things you wanted or needed have appeared, happened or put in place or are just, not that important anymore.
· Even a wolf can be your best friend:
It is usually, the most unlikely people that become your best and closest friends. New friends will arrive, they may not be the type of friends you have in mind or thought you wanted or needed but they will be a blessing to you. Don’t push people away because they look different but embrace difference. It will help you to grow. You will also find that you have more in common that you can share. Learn to have a reciprocal and balanced relationship with yourself and others.
· Allow yourself to be emotional naked: Learning to be more confident emotionally by being more open an honest will frighten those people who are unable to be. Those who are emotional secure will be drawn to you openness and honesty and appreciate you for it.
· Face your Fear: Don’t be afraid to get out there and meet new people. You are not the only lonely person out there. You will be surprised when you reach out. They are just as scared as you are. Take baby steps and keep trying. You will be rewarded.
· Dress for success. Put your war clothes on. Put on the full armour: How you look can make a significant difference to your state of mind. Something as simple as new hairstyle can make a huge difference to your confidence! Don’t be afraid to try a new look. Or just put your best or favourite clothes on and get out there!
· Don’t be afraid to help those worst off than yourself: Your life experience can be a blessing to someone else and help them to get back on their feet, giving you confidence to know that no part of your life journey, no matter how painful it was, was a waste of time.
· Make peace with you: Learning to be comfortable with who you are, will empowers you and helps you to grow stronger and wiser, drawing people to you to feel comfortable around you, being appreciative and loving you for who you are, because you have learned to be comfortable appreciative and loving, who you are!
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